Here, I am going to show you how to set a new boundary for a toddler in only 1 week.
Let’s face it; there are times when even the most patient parents find themselves face-to-face with the challenge of a screaming toddler. The high-pitched wails, flailing arms, and inconsolable tears can be overwhelming, leaving us desperately searching for ways to restore peace and calmness. Toddlers communicate their needs through emotions, and it’s our role as parents to guide them through these challenging moments.
I was able to introduce and establish a new boundary, or a rule, despite being on a sidewalk next to a busy road, with a pushchair and walking toddler.
It only took 2 attempts for him to understand that a new boundary was set, non-negotiable, and has to be followed.
And how did I do this?
2 – Warning Method.
Here’s how the 2 – warning method works:
- Clear Communication: When you observe your child engaging in behavior that is not acceptable or violates a boundary, calmly and directly communicate with them. Use simple and age-appropriate language to explain what they are doing wrong and why it is not acceptable. For example, the boundary I set for the toddler in my case was that he had to hold my hand while crossing the road. He did not want to but I explained to him that he has to as he was not looking for the cars when he crossed the road and it was dangerous. So he started screaming once we started crossing the road.
- First Warning: After communicating the rule, provide the first warning. This serves as a gentle reminder that they need to stop the behavior. Make sure to maintain a calm and firm tone. For instance, in my case, I said, “That’s your first warning. Please stop screaming, you can let go once we crossed the road.”
- Observation and Reinforcement: Observe your child’s response to the first warning. If they comply and stop the unwanted behavior, provide positive reinforcement and acknowledgment. This reinforces the desired behavior and encourages them to continue making good choices. My child did not stop screaming, he started dragging his feet. so I moved to the next point of the method.
- Second Warning: If your child persists with the unacceptable behavior despite the first warning, it’s time to give them the second warning. Repeat the rule and remind them that this is their final warning. I said to my toddler, “That’s your second warning. If you continue screaming and dragging your feet on the road, we’ll have to hold hands until you stop.”
- Consequence: If your child chooses to ignore the second warning and continues with the behavior, it’s important to follow through with a consequence. The consequence should be appropriate to the situation and consistent with your family’s values. It could involve a brief time-out, loss of privileges, or a natural consequence related to their actions. The purpose of the consequence is to help your child understand the consequences of their choices and to learn from them. In my example, I held the hand of my screaming toddler until we crossed the road and when we were safely on the sidewalk, I asked him: “Ready to walk on your own or do you want to scream some more?” He chose to stop screaming and walked by himself to which I praised him and resumed our conversation about passing traffic vehicles we were in the middle of before crossing the road.
Remember, consistency is key when using the 2-Warning Method. By providing clear communication, gentle reminders, and consequences when necessary, you are helping your child understand boundaries, develop self-control, and make positive choices. This method promotes a respectful and nurturing environment for both you and your child as you navigate the journey of parenting together.